Is it “Laziness” or ADHD?
- kkcowantherapy
- Aug 28
- 3 min read
We’ve all had those moments: staring at the laundry pile like it personally insulted us, scrolling instead of writing that one email, wondering, “Am I just lazy?”
Here’s the truth: I don’t actually believe laziness exists. Humans are like plants — we naturally want to grow, create, and do. When the right conditions are in place, we flourish. When they’re not, things stall.
But “lazy” is the word people (especially those of us with ADHD) often use to describe ourselves. And often that label was used by others to shame or control us. What looks like laziness is often ADHD — or ADHD tangled up with trauma, identity-based stress, and years of internalized shame. Knowing the difference can change everything.
ADHD vs Laziness: Understanding the Real Difference
If you have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, your brain isn’t “bad” or “broken” — it’s just wired differently.
Often, ADHD symptoms in adults look like:
Procrastination
Difficulty starting tasks
Forgetting steps in a process
Struggling with consistency
To someone who doesn’t understand ADHD, these symptoms can be mislabeled as laziness.
The truth: ADHD is often a mismatch between how your brain works and your environment — not a moral failing. Change the environment, and suddenly “lazy” people start thriving.
How Trauma Can Make ADHD Symptoms Look Like Laziness
If you’ve experienced trauma, especially identity-based trauma (e.g., homophobia, transphobia, racism), you may carry chronic stress responses that mimic or worsen ADHD symptoms.
Sometimes we have to treat the trauma before ADHD strategies start working. Trauma and ADHD together can make procrastination, motivation struggles, and task initiation problems more intense.
The ADHD Shame Cycle: Why “Lazy” Labels Stick
Most of my work with clients isn’t about “fixing” ADHD — it’s about helping them make peace with the internalized shame they’ve been carrying and building systems that actually work for their brains.
The real villain here? Self-hatred. When you believe you’re lazy, you’re less likely to try.
That keeps the cycle going and makes ADHD motivation problems harder to tackle.
Breaking that cycle starts with self-compassion — recognizing that your struggles are not a moral failing, but a mismatch between your brain and your environment. From there, we focus on practical systems that support follow-through without relying solely on willpower.
Am I Lazy or Do I Have ADHD? Signs to Look For:
This might be the annoying answer, but when ADHD overlaps with trauma and other identities, you really need a partner (like a therapist) to help untangle it.
That said, a few clues it might be ADHD:
You’ve struggled with task initiation and focus since childhood.
You hyperfocus on things you love but can’t get started on boring tasks, no matter how important.
Structure and deadlines help, but only to a point.
ADHD and Motivation: Why Environment Matters More Than Willpower
For ADHD brains, self-help isn’t enough if you’re swimming against a hostile environment.
That might mean:
Negotiating for flexible work arrangements
Using body-doubling (working alongside someone for accountability)
Creating systems and routines that match your brain, not fight it
The goal isn’t to “try harder” — it’s to work with your wiring.
Resources for ADHD, especially at the intersections
ADHD Babes — Black women and non-binary folks with ADHD.
Queer ADHD — Community for LGBTQIA+ folks navigating ADHD.
Neuroqueer.org — Resources and writing at the intersection of neurodivergence and queer identity.
Black Girl, Lost Keys — Renee Brooks’ blog and resources centering Black women with ADHD.
Disability Visibility Project — Stories and resources centering disabled voices, including ADHD at the intersections.
